lost ideals

Training today, backboard special

Yesterday,I helped build a fence (yes, even tho I am a fire fighter,I do stupid stuff like that)

Sorry for my absence, my computer is broken,I I hate updating from my phone

(via toofarleftogo)

wolfdancer:

The Wanderer ~ marilyne

The rain

just sitting here, watching the rain today.
trying to drink the memories away.
Seeing ghostly faces, through the window pane.
Watching the past wash away, in the silver rain.
I’m losing the memories, of how I got this way.
I am losing al the words, I have nothing left to say.

I can’t recall how I got this scars, but i still feel the pain.
I can no longer hear the voices, as they are drowned out in the rain.
the darkness slowly creeps in, bringing welcome numb.
all that I am left with, is what I have become.
the past has shaped me, molded me like clay.
the boy I once was, has all but gone away.

I am just a shadow of the ideals, that I used to hold.
Now the warmth is almost gone, and i feel so cold.
the past can no longer shape me, the clay has turned to stone.
I watch the million rain drops, yet I feel so alone.
 the reflection in the mirror, I no longer recognize
The only part thats really me, are theres cold blue eyes.

one last look behind me, then I step out into the rain.
 Join the falling raindrops, a way to end the pain.
for a second I am weightless, and my mind is so clear.
I am one with the emptiness , now there is no fear.
I leave behind the memories, of who i used to be.
This was the only way, I could ever be free,

it was snowing my first day